Ok, where to begin?
About a week or so ago, I could feel a hard lump on the left side of my belly. This past Saturday, I felt a second lump, so I went to the emergency room. I had a CT scan of my abdomen. Turns out I have a tumor. A big one.
How big, you ask? Imagine, if you will, a tumor the size of a baby. We’ll call him Harry. Harry the Tumor Baby has two little eyes to see with, and a cute little mouth with which to speak.
Imagine if you will, little Harry the Tumor Baby turns over while taking a nap, opens his eyes, sees MY tumor, and yells, “God-damn! That’s a big tumor!”
That’s how big my tumor is.
The doctor says it measures 22cm by 25cm by 12 cm. A cantaloupe, he called it.
Since I have virtually no symptoms other than anemia, the doctors let me go, and we’ll do this on an outpatient basis. I’ll have a needle biopsy tomorrow, and should have the results by Wednesday the 22nd. What we do next depends on the results of the biopsy.
There’s good news and bad news about the tumor, so right now I think I’m 50/50 between coming out of this ok, and being fucked.
I’ll keep everybody posted.
P.S. Because Evo’s a genius, we have named the tumor Kuato.
Not dead. Resting? I’ve...
Dude that so sucks. I hope everything comes out okay.
Joe, I don’t think we’ve ever spoken, but I dig everything you’ve got to say. This is some tough shit. When things look grim, be strong – if I prayed I’d be praying. But since I aint the praying kind the best I can do is give you some advice I learned back in 1986:
“All right, sweethearts, we’re a team and there’s nothing to worry about. We came here, we’re gonna conquer, and we’re gonna kick some, is that understood? That is what we’re gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line! Are ya mean?”
or maybe:
“Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But let’s not… Let’s not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly an important species we’re dealing with and I don’t think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them!”
Good hunting Joe,
Jesse
It could be worse…..Evo could have given it a girls name….
Humor aside though, since I am the praying type I will be praying.
Huh. It does have two spellings. I always thought it was spelled Quatto, but the Wikipedia entry has it both ways in the credits section.
Still, your guys are probably good enough to miss the vital organs when they shoot this Quatto in the head, so let us know when that’ll be so we can send good thoughts your way.
Dude…you need anything…we’re there for ya man!
Trying desperately to think of a Fantastic Voyage reference, yet failing miserably…..
Be Strong.
In my thoughts and prayers man.
Joe, You might not remember me, but we met in the terminal of Atlanta Int Airport after Dragon*Con. I recognized your voice.
Best wishes to you.
I do remember you. Thanks for writing. Thank you everybody. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Joe, I’m so very sorry you are having to go through this. Please keep us apprised. You have important ninja business, so Kuato has to go. And all of us KAMN fans are rooting for ya!
I’ll be hoping for the best– doctors do good work. Stay strong!
Hey Joe, good title for a song. Seriously though, I will be sending positive vibes from the U.K.
Joe, hang in there. We’re all wishing you the best. There’s too much ninja work still to be done.